As we enter the last month in the summer

now that August is here we are counting down the days to the beginning of school. My oldest daughter starts back to college a couple days before the kids but then their first day is one of her days off.  So my first day totally freee of children is the day after they start back.  Oh well, 62 will come soon enough and then my youngest will be off to college and I'll miss having them home.  In the meantime, summer drags on.  My husband almost orders us to go swimming sometimes, he is worried we are wasting our poool membership and it takes some of the joy out for us.  At least the kids love it and don't want to leave after they are forced to go.  Well another day.

crazy in the summer

took the kids to the bounce house today.  some very small little kid kept annoying them and even started kneeing them in the back.  I don't understand why parents don't deal with their kids.  If my kids were annoying strangers I would step in and if they were physically aggressive I would leave with them. 

Oh well, maybe the mom was having one of those bad days we all have.  I know there are days I wonder if I will still be sane the end of the summer.  My youngest goes off over very little stuff and my youngest daughter goes off when you tell her to do anything she doesn't want to do.


I used to operate from fear, always doing whatever I needed because I was afraid.  Recently I realized I make a lot of decisions from guilt.  My guilt over things I have done living in fear leads me to make decisions because my kids haven't had the best life.  So they get by with too much and I am not an effective parent.  I'm working on it.  Its funny how I wouldn't let my kids run all over anyone else but they run all over me.  I know I don't deserve it but yet it happens.  My kids are well behaved with everyone but me.  That hurts.  I was raised in a very dysfunctional family and now my kids are being also.  It is a totally different way but dysfunctional is dysfunctional.

It's been awhile and summer is here!

I started working part time from home on the computer and that is taking all my time these days.  I'm also playing with html coding for a future website after I get my real estate license.  I am tatting on and off right now as I plan to do a couple craft shows before Christmas.  My daughter, who I taught to tat, is better than I am at it.  She is amazing.

All the kids passed to next grade.  Had an honor roll student, another who got a serious improvement in the only subject she struggles in, and my little guy had his typical good grade card.

We are swimming almost every day but with the pool comes treats.  My will power is low and I put 3 of the 28 pounds I lost back on.  Any one reading this want to form a "diet posse"  with me and provide mutual support and encouragement?  I don't diet which is probably the problem, I mostly watch the carbs and sugars and protein to be sure the sugar and carbs are down and the protein is adequate for my needs.  I get very sleepy if I eat sugar.

More tomorrow.

Weekends full of snow

The last thing I need is a weekend full of snow.  Living in North Carolina I haven't bought the kids snowpants or boots because don't seem to need most of the time.  oh well, so kids are trapped in house.  they venture out briefly in jeans and sneakers but back almost immediately and unhappy.  maybe next winter we'll have a little more money and get outfitted just in case of snow.  so the dog is happy to be out in snow but a disaster when he comes in with all that snow caked in his fur.  I love the dog anyway, lol.  Dog got out last week by pushing board off fence and I thought kids and I would end up in shelter because no way with our love of husband's dog would he believe it was an accident.  after 45 minutes I found him and he came when called so all was saved.  I am reading this book called layers, (see previous post), and it deals with having choices and no choices.  when I was a child things were done to me against my will.  now at times the feelings return that I have no choice but I really do have choices, I just have to remember to use them.